Tired of It All

So what has happened? Alot and yet not much at all.

I'm no longer talking to my best-friend. She ditched me at the bar to go home with some guy when I came down to visit her. I had to get her 13 year old to let me in at 3am. Then the next morning I left to catch the Greyhound and never heard from her. I left her 13 year odl to take care of her 11 year old and 5 year old. She acted like nothing happened and kept talking to me in facebook. Until she comment on someone's picture and a penis popped up on my son's news feed. I told her since she's friends with my son she has to watch what she comments on. i was kinda joking because I know it's not going to scar my son but I was worried about what other people thought. She said I was ruining her name and her career as a social worker...btw she's in her first semester of school so she has no career. Her name will always "be associated with distributing porn to children" so she can't be my friend anymore. I'm more upset I didn't unfriend her first. Now I have a tattoo that matches hers....it was the Chinese symbol for "friendship" but now it means "beautiful dolphin" if anyone asks. Hopefully the person can't read Chinese.

Speaking of tattoos...I'm really jonesing for my next tattoo. My brother got a goddy owl with a skull standing on a diamond. I want an owl too but grandma isn't going to come back to see it so it'll have to wait. So I want to get a yellow rose for my mom then she can see it and maybe proud of me. But where should I go? I'm hoping to hit up the next Tattoo expo and see a few artists there. I'd love to find someone that'll work with me. I tell them what i want, they design it and give me a price. Then they wait for my to save up to do it. Then we do the same for the next tattoo.

Then there's work. I can't believe how petty a bunch of grown woman can get. That and my hours are being cut. I went from working full time for 6 months to 3 shifts a week. I how it goes back up to at least 4 but I don't know. I'm really friends with anyone and I'm not a butt kisser so I'm not sure what's going to happen. Most of my shifts are supervising so if I wasn't trained as a supervisor I'd be screwed. But I may be anyways because they hired a girl to train as a supervisor so I might loose those shifts too. Part of me feels she's the type that can get any job she wants and when something better comes along she'll be gone. One can only hope she's smart enough. I want to get a second part time job so if they need me to work full time again they can't and they'll be screwed. I did drop off a resume somewhere awesome so keep your fingers crossed.

Tried the keep my mind off of things that make me upset. So I've been crafting and getting my son hooked too. Bought my son some perler beads and he's awesome at it. I'm so happy because he has Developmental Coordination Disorder and wasn't sure if he could do it. You need motor skills to work with such small things and well...he doesn't have very good motor skills. But he can beat almost any video game....go figure.

On a side note...it's Derby day. One thing I'm obsessed with, the Roller Derby. I wish I could skate and I wish I could play. But I will be a fan and cheer on my girls...that's something I can do well.

Please Help My Friend

My friend has a chance to fix her teeth. Steph is a great person and a happy distraction for me at work. I love to make her laugh and smile but she doesn't do it enough because of her smile. Please go to the below link and vote as often as you can.

http://calgary.virginradio.ca/showcase/smilemakeover/View.aspx?ID=194369

She entered her picture late and needs as many votes from now until Monday February 14th. She has no coverage so she can't pay for it herself. She went from 35 hours a week to 5 hours. Good thing she lives with an understanding sister or she'd be homeless too.

She's a beautiful person that deserves a beautiful smile.

To show how great she is.....she's raising money for cancer.... www.endcancer.ca/goto/stephswa

lk

Hair Today...Gone Tomorrow

So I cut my hair off.....and donated it to Locks of Love...

It's kinda a big deal for me....my hair hasn't been this short since i was 10 years old.

I decided that short so I'd have enough to donate but also for my Halloween costume. How do we look? Velma and Shaggy.....

It's hard to get used to the hair...i wake up in the morning and its all over the place. I haven't had bangs in 3 years. But I'm using less shampoo and I don't have to pull it back to make supper or sleep. It dries allot quicker too. I'll get used to it.

We had a blast at the Halloween Party Saturday night. Too bad we had to leave early cuz I had to work at 7am the next morning.

On a sad note....I had a melt down yesterday. I walked down the card isle as work and noticed the Christmas cards for grandmas. I thought about having picking one out cuz I always spent abit more on Grandma's cards. I didn't want to send the same card everyone else got. Then I remember that she's gone. I couldn't sleep until 3am. I'm missing her so much.

I'm a sicko

I've been so sick the last few days. Slept in this morning when I shouldn't have but I needed it so much. I have so much to do tomorrow....and these are in no order....

1. Pack Leif's Bag for Camp
2. Finish my Halloween costume, dye socks and make skirt.
3. Laundry
4. Finish and mail last days of 13 Days of Halloween Swap
5. Finish bag for October Birthday Swap...hopefully mail
6. Pay Bills
7. Drop Leif off at 6pm to go to Camp
8. Look up pictures for Velma and hair cut ideas.

I'm sure there's more that I'm forgetting but I'm too tired to think right now.

Halloween is only a few days away....I love this time of year and

sometimes I hate it. TV and radio interviewing "ghost busters" and "real witches". I don't like people speaking for me and I don't like people stereotyping witches and pagans. I'm in no way Wiccan so I don't follow the rede and believe in it so when I hear a Wiccan talk to someone on Tv and say "witches follow the rede and it says to harm none" I want to scream. And why do they only come out at Halloween when the green faced witches are expected. Ostara is also a beautiful Pagan holiday and what about Yule.

Anyway....just bitching about something I can't change. It's always going to be that way....it's like fluffy bunnies....just got to ignore them.

She's gone

That's Grandma last month at her 80th birthday party. Not only did she get to see most of her kids, grandkids and great grand kids...she got to see all her surviving brothers and sisters. All the ladies who've come for tea weekly for years were there as well. She had to keep taking naps because being at the table was making her tired.

Isn't she beautiful? Her name is Joyce...perfect name for an angel. She pasted on Oct 20, 2010....that's 10/20/2010. One month after she turned 80. She's with Grandpa now...13 years with out him. She's a very strong lady. 2 month before I was born she had so bury one of her daughters. Jo died in a car accident. She's with her too now.

They're going to sell the house. I know who ever buys it will tear it down...I wish I could buy it. It's the only place I knew I was welcome. A safe haven from the world....there's always food and a warm bed. Now where can I go? I wanted to move back so bad and help take care of Grandma but we couldn't move yet. Sorry Grandma.

Mom just got home and I want to come running to her but I can't. I'm the one who can't be that way. I've missed her so much tho it's not fair. She talked about how stuff was divided and who got what. Between 8 kids, 30 plus grandkids and many great grandkids there was enough to go around. The thought of something going to a thrift store was so depressing....I didn't care if I got it just as long as someone did. But I'd give everything up to see my Grandma again.

Grandma's are for hugs.

My grandma is sick and in the hospital. She's knocked out and a machine is breathing for her. They want her oxygen levels to go up and her lungs to start working. They're giving her until Tuesday then they're "pulling the pug" as TV puts it. I'm going to miss her but she's not the same since her stroke 5 years ago and things keep getting worst. And it doesn't help that everyone that lives near her are a bunch of self centered bastards.

Thursday night she called around to people trying to get someone to drive her to the hospital but everyone was too busy. Friday morning a family friend, not family, drove her. She had 9 kids and 8 are still alive, plus the many grandkids who drive. Why couldn't anyone drive her? My Mom talked to Grandma Friday morning before Slim came for her. Mom said she sounded awful. Why wouldn't you want to drive your mother or grandmother to the hospital? I would have but I don't live in that city.

If grandma passes....that's going to be the last memories she had. Of her family not being there for her...of feeling alone. I hate that.

Halloween is Coming....weeee

I'm not that good with posting a blog everyday. My life is kinda boring.

Is it sad that I'm more excited for Halloween then my birthday. My birthday is on Thnaksgiving this year.....weeeee. But Halloween is on the weekend. I'm planning neat costumes for Doug and I....Shaggy and Velma from Scooby Doo.

I plan on switching my glasses for the more darker rimmed ones. I'm cutting my hair and donating what's left...right now it's close to my but crack. I hope it doesn't look too bad. Doug is growing his hair out...hope it'll be long enough but his last hair cut was a bit too short.

I love Halloween so much. Still working on my 13 Days of Halloween Swap. I wish I could post pictures but my partner might see. I'm hopping to mail the first half tomorrow. I made a bit boo boo yesterday....lol....can't talk about that either.