What does it mean to be an adult? really? I assumed you moved out, got a job and lived a life away from home. Maybe not the last one but the first two for sure. I was out when I was 19....day after my last day of high school and I was in another city, 3 hours away. I started paying rent when I turn 18 and was getting government money...I would cash the cheque in mom's account and take out a bit for me and the rest went to mom.
My brother just turned 24 and my sister is 22. One hasn't worked in many years and the other has a job but doesn't pay bills. It's all my mom's responsibility. Everyone sees it too....it's just not me. Other family and friends say "why doesn't he get a job?" or "why doesn't you're mom say something?". I can't do anything.
I hear my brother throwing a fit last night....yelling and slamming doors like he did when he was 14 years old. What does he have to mad about? He has no bills or rent to worry about. Poor baby can afford smokes, drugs whatever. He throws his fit until mom or my sister throw money at him. Then he's gone. He doesn't help out....I heard mom last year tell him to mow the lawn for $20. Hell I'll do it for the $20 and pay rent and bill.....drive you around without asking for gas.
My sister is the baby and sure acts like it. She got to go to college while living at home for free. I was told to "move out or get a job" when I was going to Mount Royal. She's got a good job with benefits and she still complains. But does she still pay rent or bills...no. Mom does. She pays the cell phone bill with 2 cell phones on it. One is suppose to be moms but it's really my brothers.
I can't believe it but i must bite my tongue and walk away. It's like seeing a loved one in an abusive relationship. Its mom's choice, all I can do is let her know I'm here if she needs me. It's what she knows, she grew up in an abusive home with brothers and sisters that were jerks, and a grandfather that was a real ass. She then live with my fucked up dad for more then 10 years. Now my brother and sister are doing it to her.
My son will not be the same. He will not grow up the way I did or end up the way they are. When he's old enough he's getting a job. Not to pay bills but so when he does move out he has some experience and make descent money. I was 24 with a 2 year old trying to find a job with no experience. He already knows being an adult equals having a job. He's very smart and hates school but I told him he needs to graduate. He knows this too.
I'm so proud of my 9 year old already.....wait until he's an adult.
1 comment:
I know EXACTLY how you feel. It is the same way with my brother and mom. It drives my freakin batty!!!! He is still living at home do nothing. He has no job. Oh but he is taking ONE class at the local community college. Pshh! He stays at home all days smoking weed and drinking. Doesn't pay a damn thing. It has always been that way. I was out of the house and on my own at 18 and I've never looked back. I love my mom to death but this is the one thing that drives a wedge between us.
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